Loneliness

Loneliness can feel so tiring. Like a hole you can’t get out of. But there are things you can do. You don’t have to be lonely. And while you work on your own loneliness, you might help someone else with theirs.

‍Social Media

Kindness is key on social media. If you are thoughtful about how you communicate, social media can be a place of connection and community. It can be a valuable way to keep up with family or find people with similar interests. But beware of social media as a place to vent and grind axes; it may feel like community, but it tends to lead to bitterness and increase loneliness.

Grief

Often grief is mistaken for loneliness. They can be close cousins and can appear at the same time. There is usually no way to get beyond grief but to go through it. How you go through it is up to you. Did you want to go through it alone or with connection? Did you want to stay in bed or go for a walk? How you choose to deal with your grief will make a difference. Connection always makes it easier (but not easy).

Learn more about Grief >

Be a Good Friend

When we are out of the practice of being a friend, we can sometimes forget how to be a good friend. Remember a few simple things:

• Don’t over-burden other people with your problems. Not too much today and not every day.
• Don’t only complain about your life.
• Listen more than you talk.
• Be mindful of people’s time – keeping it brief can leave them looking forward to the next conversation.
• Be a ray of sunshine in the day of the people you meet – whether a stranger in the store or a friend for dinner. Remember something they said or compliment them on something.
• The better the friendship you offer, the better the friendship that will return.

If you lose someone close and feel lonely without them, don’t try and fill that gap with only one person. Also, even with the closest of friends or even a spouse, you may have only spent a true couple of hours a day really engaging. Remember that when you are looking to replace that time; a couple of hours here and there can really make a difference.

You can’t make a new old friend. Give friendships a chance. Don’t rush it and don’t force it; not everyone will be a fit.

‍Enjoying Time Alone

Being alone always feels worse when you don’t choose it. Remember, in your life, there have almost certainly been many times when you have enjoyed time by yourself. Enjoy it now.

• Find time to read a good book
• Go for a walk or sit and enjoy nature – even if it is watching one bird
• Try drawing or painting
• Do a puzzle
• Try crafting
• Find a new hobby

New Activities

Trying something new can refresh your routine and help you meet people naturally – whether it’s a class, a cause, or a club that sparks your interest.

• Take an adult ed or fitness class
• Volunteer
• Follow your interests – look into local clubs or groups, and if one isn’t a good fit, keep exploring
• One way to reconnect with family and old friends is to try out new activities together

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